Battlefield Hentai's
by Kanna37
Summary: Just how hentai can you be while in the midst of a battle? Let the Inutachi answer that question for you. Rating for language and suggestive themes.


**Battlefield Hentai's**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha... just the hentai closet I'm bringing them all out of.

---oOo---

"Hiraikotsu!"

"Wind Scar!"

"Hit the Mark!"

"Wind Tunnel!"

Various cries echoed over the battlefield, proving the dangerous nature of the youkai that the Inutachi were currently fighting. Despite all that, however, it was immediately obvious to any onlooker, that the lead male, Inuyasha, and the lead female, Kagome, were not just busy fighting, they were also continuing their respective hentai lessons to their seconds... in this case, the taijiya, and the houshi.

"Hey, Miroku!" Inuyasha managed to get a yell out to his friend in between swipes and leaps, catching the attention of the hentai-in-training.

"Yes, Inuyasha? What can I possibly help you with at this moment?" he managed to pant out, still in the midst of being sprayed with yet more youkai guts from his latest _late_ opponent.

"You need to go fight near Sango, bouzo, remember? This is your first chance to put together some of the things I've been teaching you," Inuyasha yelled over at him, just after slashing his opponent in half. "I'm gonna move myself over to my little target, bouzo," he grinned, "but, while I'll be taking any chances to grab Kagome I can get, I will _also _be watching you. Make me proud, Miroku, or _else_."

At that, he spun away, heading in the direction of his _true _prey... his female. All these pitiful small-fry youkai were just means to an end, and he had no problem using any chance he could get to molest his onna. After all, a true hentai would use any means to practice his religion - and Inuyasha worshipped at the alter of the hentai gods at all times, no matter _what _he was doing.

He quickly made his way across the battlefield towards his target, immediately noting the youkai sneaking it's way up behind his onna, and almost smiled at the stupid bastard. Hentai opportunity number one, already at his feet.

He leapt up to Kagome and grabbed her as she shrieked in startlement, allowing his hands to move dangerously low on her hips as they jumped out of the way of the blow that had been, moments before, heading for her back.

"Stupid wench! You almost got yourself killed! You need to fucking pay attention, bitch!" Inuyasha glared at her as he settled her down and removed his hands. "Kikyou would never be so stupid!"

Now, Inuyasha was no fool. He didn't really confuse Kagome and Kikyou, and he certainly didn't think Kikyou was better than Kagome. Not by a long shot. Kikyou just made really good camouflage. _Really _good. Mention that name, and he could probably spend all day feeling his girl up, and she'd be too pissed to notice.

"Inuyashaaaa!" Kagome turned and glared up at him with enough anger in her gaze to set fire to his fire rat, which was an achievement in and of itself - considering that fire rat was fire retardant. "If we weren't in the middle of a fight, I'd s-i-t you so hard you'd be spitting out dirt a hundred years from now!"

He grinned as the irate woman whirled around and fired an arrow before expertly pulling another from her quiver and firing again without even looking, nailing both her targets almost simultaneously. He knew he was full of bullshit... Kagome was every bit Kikyou's equal with her bow now, if not even better.

He casually flicked his sword to the side, releasing another blast of power, decimating half the battlefield, before once again grabbing his female and leaping to another point... one suspiciously close to an embattled taijiya and her hentai minded houshi.

If he'd actually been paying attention to said female, he might have noticed that her attention wasn't really on him or the battle, but on her best friend, and recent student, as much as his was on the houshi. Since they'd already destroyed most of their enemies, they could pay relatively close attention to the two people on the other side of the field. What they saw was very encouraging. It looked like both had taken to their lessons very well.

Kagome was heartened by what she was watching. Sango was proving to be every bit as sneaky as she herself was, and opening up opportunities for the houshi to grab, left and right, and doing it all without Miroku even being aware of it. She glanced sideways at Inuyasha, and knew he was watching Miroku as closely as she was watching Sango - and yet, he was just as unaware of reality as Miroku. They both thought he was getting his groping in all on his own.

She snickered. Clueless, the both of them. She rolled her eyes as she thought of Inuyasha's earlier comment about Kikyou. He really had no idea that she was completely aware of _why _he brought the woman up - after all, every time she came into the conversation, he'd either_ been _feeling her up, or was _about_ to feel her up, and usually both. He'd probably be severely annoyed if he ever realized that the mention of the other miko didn't really bother her all that much anymore... in reality, she was just playing along.

Looking back at Sango, she smirked as she watched the taijiya open up yet _another _opportunity for Miroku. _Good one, Sango, that was really sneaky! _She had to admit, her friend was certainly impressing her today. She'd left her right side just slightly open to attack, which led to Miroku having to "tackle" her to avoid a hit, yet, if he'd failed to notice, she would still have been able to avoid injury herself. Neither male would even notice the so-called "mistake", it was so slight.

Yes, Sango took to her lessons like a duck to water, and she was leading Miroku along like she'd been doing it for years.

Inuyasha was pleased at that one. _Nice tackle, Miroku! Got your hands all over her ass, and she didn't yell once, and you didn't get smacked. I think you've passed this test, my friend._

Both of the hentai teachers were so busy critiquing their students efforts, neither of them realised just where their _own _hands were...

Yes, today had been good for the hentai gods - and the day had just started.

---oOo---

None of the group paid all that much attention to their smallest members, and Shippo was content with that. After all, there wasn't much in the Sengoku Jidai that could beat watching his friends and his mom for entertainment value, and he said as much out loud...

And Kirara, sitting next to him on the edge of the battlefield, tilted her head thoughtfully, and mewed in agreement.

---oOo---

A/N: Well, this one just kinda popped out. This wasn't quite what I had planned, but, I didn't win my arguement with the plot bunnies... they didn't really play fair, and I ended up buried in fur. Oh, well... next installment brings more Kikyou into the mix - and we'll find out just how Inuyasha uses those annoying little Kikyou moments to get a little Kagome time. And what Kagome really thinks about Kikyou. Ja Ne!

Amber


End file.
